Sugar and Spice, Who’s Nice?

            Who and what really holds the greatest power over our children, male or female, in teaching them about their own gender and what their roles should or should not be?   In a world that is so vast and filled with so many different viewpoints, opinions, customs and labels does the greatest majority of the power lie externally or within their primary environment? 

            My parents gave me the name “Gisele,” a unique name for a little girl.  It was different, it stood out, it made a statement and no one else had it; however, I didn’t like it.  Children had a hard time saying it, they made fun of it and so I was called Gigi for short.  The movie “Gigi” came out just before I was in utero and when I was old enough it became one of my favorite films.  How many children had a movie entitled with their name?  It actually made me feel strong, powerful, good, special, important and oh yes I’ll say it again, special!

The story plot takes place in the late 1800s and is that of a young woman who is being groomed to become a high end courtesan.  The main character, “Gigi” is a very intelligent, opinionated, strong willed and mischievous young girl.  It is in fact these qualities that twist the entire storyline by the end of the film where it closes with her gaining the respect that she desired and believed in.  Hence which relates to the twist in the stanza of the song “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” sung by Maurice Chevalier.  The lyrics can be seen in both a positive or negative light depending upon how one views it.  It has been a song sung by many even Rosemary Clooney.

 “…Those little eyes so helpless and appealing

one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin'…” (YouTube, 2014)

 One point of view is that it could place a label on young girls and how they should be, pleasing, “helpless,” and “appealing.”   Yet to the contrary if you look deeper, the next line clearly states the total opposite of the previous line.  Little girls encompass much more than merely a superficial purpose of just being window dressing that they will ultimately surprise you profoundly if you allow yourself to really see the strengths they do possess.

            Personal individuality and our immediate role models develops the most powerful impact on who we see ourselves as and how we project ourselves to others.   Incorporated into an article written by Lisa Belkin, a reader, Marvin, stated he learned “…the feminist lesson that gender is not a factor in what makes an individual special… You are special because you are an INDIVIDUAL...” (Belkin, 2012)  Parents and mentors must guide and nurture children’s personal visions of themselves. 

            When I grew up there weren’t any particular gender roles in my household.  Although my mother was in part a “stay at home mom,” both my parents cooked and chores were divided by individual capabilities and desires.  Personally I certainly wasn’t raised with any labels.  I learned how to pick night crawlers; my brother and I sold them alongside the lemonade stand.  Much time was spent with my Dad in his workshop and we both learned how to work with tools.  In fact to this day I can pretty much fix just about anything in my house.  It might have been nice if some of the men in my life had been as handy. Fishing and catching snakes were all very common for me even as an adult woman, but I also liked ballet, fairy tales, dressing up pretty and yes even dreamed of being the first woman on the moon. 
       By building a strong foundation of a child’s identity, letting it unfold by itself and nurturing who they are and want to be, labels become unnecessary and powerless. Isn’t it time we begin seeing people for who they are more on the inside than by just their outer image?  I challenge you to realize that we are all human first, we all make mistakes, but we each have this incredible and innate ability to grow, improve upon ourselves, morph and become something so much greater than when we started if we dare to.  I didn't need pink toys when I was little to alert me to the fact that I was female nor did my own boys need to be whittled into a blue box to let them know that someday they would grow into fine young men.  They were simply taught, to the best of my ability, that if they wanted to eat, they had to learn how to cook, if they wanted to experience solstice, they would have to walk in nature.  They were simply offered as many life experiences that I could give in order to set them on their way to becoming their own individualized being.  I believe it's time we just simply place more attention in trying to become the best version of ourselves than to waste valuable moments judging others and placing labels or deciding someone else's gender roles in order to empower ourselves over someone else.  

Works Cited:

Belkin, L. (2012, July 30). Sex vs. Character: What Do We Teach Our Little Girls. Blog. The Huffington Post. Retrieved February 7, 2015, from The Huffington Post Website: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/sex-vs-character_b_1710480.html

YouTube. (2014, November 5). Thank Heaven For Little Girls. Retrieved February 7, 2015, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuD3moeoxPs