Will the Real “M” in Masked Man Stand Up in the Gender Battles

            Gender battles have existed throughout our history and will ultimately remain with us.  It is not something that is just going to evaporate and disappear.  In order to ease its negative effects that it can cast upon individuals, we must educate and enlighten ourselves.  We must learn its roots, utilize our critical thinking skills, understand how it is used against us and individually be strong within our own decision making processes in order to overcome its effects.  In doing so it will enable us to rise above the negativity gender labels create and eventually help to equal out the playing field.

            To begin this journey I had to start with looking at myself; was I raised with gender biased directives?  The answer is no, it was difficult for me to understand firsthand.  I had to dig deeper and phoned my brother as I wanted to be sure my memories were accurate.  Both of us concluded we were raised as “kids” simply put.  Although we were separated in years by 7 we each played with trains, went fishing, caught worms, sold lemonade, had teas, learned to clean, cook, and worked with tools etc.  I would say we were raised to be well rounded in all facets.  We were never told by our parents that we couldn’t do something based upon being male or female.  Entering the outside world and the expectations of others we found is where we hit walls along the way.  

            A couple of key words referenced in “The Gender Book” by Mel Reiff Hill and Jay Mays that stood out were “misconceptions” and “assumptions.”  I thought this to be key in describing one’s gender as it can only be described by the individual in question, one’s gender is their personal view of themselves, not their biological sex.  We do not have the right or knowledge to instill what or how we believe a person is or should be.  We do not live inside of them; when someone does take on that usurped power it is merely that of control over another.

            Gender roles and the ways they have been perceived; are presently perceived; and its perception in the future can be changed.  Let us go all the way back to the Bible where it speaks of “The Virtuous Woman” and King Lemuel is having a discussion with his son.  In line 3 he states  to his son “Give not thy strength unto women,” (The Bible, Proverb 31:3-31, King James Version) yet he later goes on to describe to his son a woman as being virtuous, trust worthy, honorable, wise, and strong.  Could it be that these traits if not belonging to a man were the cause for fear amongst men?  Perhaps it is, when we as humans feel out of control our desire is to control; power over another if necessary in order to make ourselves feel strong and secure.

            Jumping forward to the early 1900s a man by the name of Eddie Bernays arose bringing about the use of his uncle, Sigmund Freud’s, psychological theories to utilize propaganda, later termed public relations.  A far cry from biblical days, however it was he who got women to begin to smoke cigarettes, was that in the best interest of women or for more sales for the companies?  His theory was that the masses could be controlled by feeding them information to make them believe they were in control of their decisions and themselves.  Bernays once stated, “The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country…” (Durden, 20141)  These psychological practices began to be used all around us in advertisements, our news and incorporated into just about all of our decision making endeavors which are subliminally encouraged and controlled.  The effects surround us and have only multiplied. 

This trickledown effect burdens us all by the negative portrayal of women in video games as voiced by Anita Sarkeesian, to how and what women should wear, makeup, diets, and how they should strive to look.  However, it continues with men needing Viagra, dying their hair, getting hair transplants, taking steroids, proving their masculinity to be part of the crowd that is measured by how well they play violent video games and high scores; the lists can go on.  In order to gain control as individuals, we must each measure and look deeper to where the root of the problem lies.  The “M” in Media has such power over us all if we allow it and don’t question its validity, source and motive.  Maybe we should create a new word Wo-Men to create a unity of the two.  

Works Cited

Durden, T. (20141, December 30). ZeroHedge.com. Retrieved February 15, 2015, from Zero Hedge Website: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-12-30/edward-bernays-propaganda-theory-has-been-perfected

Per APA Bible passages only need to be cited in the text of paper; no reference list citation is required.

Should Esquivel be the New DQ Ice Cream Flavor?

Is there room today for females to be who they truly want to be?  Can women have the freedom of choice of either holding onto old stereotypical gender roles or striving to attain whatever it is they wish to accomplish?  The largest factor I see is whether the female is comfortable with herself and her beliefs in the first place.  She must have a strong enough character to look beyond how others around her may label her, persuade her or condemn her.  This is the type of male strength our fore fathers had when they formed our country, it is the type of strength necessary to force change and become who you truly want to be as a person.

In Esquivel’s essay “At the Hearth,” the story line runs us through her childhood learning the ways of the women generations before her.  She takes us on her journey of becoming educated, gains wisdom, and finally makes her way back in completing her circle of life by returning to the hearth.  She comes to the realization that the birth of the new man cannot take place until there are societal changes of what is truly important.  I agree with her.  In a material based society, one’s worth and value is measured by the ownership of worthless and meaningless items never attaining total fulfillment.  The giving of life, sustenance and nurturing of spiritual needs becomes much more important to her and should to us all.  I’ve placed my order for my own copy, only 1 left on Amazon.

Jumping to a recent DQ Commercial, I was taken aback at first. Not surprised though, as it depicts the same old use of simple sex which is in most of our advertising world.  The use of such a young girl compounds and epitomizes what feminists are constantly trying to combat.  Here I see two ways of looking at it, however; 1. The young girl just using her femininity to get the ice cream she wanted which confirms the female in a weak form; or 2. The young girl intentionally and psychologically outsmarting the young boy by using her femininity over him as she knew he would be weak, a stronger view.  I hope DQ was going for later.

The underlying answer to all of this is simply respect and basic human rights.  Whether male or female it’s something we want, desire, and deserve.  In this capitalistic age people are measured by their salary, job position, and where they fit into society.  If a homemaker/mother/wife made a salary of say $100,000/yr. do you think more people would be opting for the job?  Would it make the position more desirable and respected?  If so, does that mean it’s ultimately the price tag that determines the value?  Is there no value to creating human life, a home, caring for elderly parents and managing a household or is it because we as women have been juggling it for so long almost seamlessly that it appears to have no value?   We can look at “A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women–even those with a “feminist” outlook–are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.” (Noer, 2006)  Or perhaps can this be due to the fact that women are typically completing the position of a domestic engineer while alongside another fulltime/part-time occupation.

   The world is forever evolving and change is never easy.  I believe we are at a stage that is in limbo at the moment.  Women as a whole are still trying to find and attain their equality and “new” place in what is still a largely patriarchal society.  As females our self-esteem and personal thoughts about ourselves can sometimes have a paralyzing effect and be detrimental when we are not sure of ourselves or haven’t yet decided who we really are.  It is that inner strength that allows great women such as Susan B. Anthony to Malala, to step out and speak up.  They are both women who know themselves.  Try ordering a double dipped chocolate Esquivel in a waffle cone at DQ just to see the reaction.  (607/626)

Works Cited

Noer, M. (2006, August 22). Forbes. Retrieved February 9, 2015, from Forbes Website: http://www.forbes.com/2006/08/21/careers-marriage-dating_cx_mn_0821women.html

Sugar and Spice, Who’s Nice?

            Who and what really holds the greatest power over our children, male or female, in teaching them about their own gender and what their roles should or should not be?   In a world that is so vast and filled with so many different viewpoints, opinions, customs and labels does the greatest majority of the power lie externally or within their primary environment? 

            My parents gave me the name “Gisele,” a unique name for a little girl.  It was different, it stood out, it made a statement and no one else had it; however, I didn’t like it.  Children had a hard time saying it, they made fun of it and so I was called Gigi for short.  The movie “Gigi” came out just before I was in utero and when I was old enough it became one of my favorite films.  How many children had a movie entitled with their name?  It actually made me feel strong, powerful, good, special, important and oh yes I’ll say it again, special!

The story plot takes place in the late 1800s and is that of a young woman who is being groomed to become a high end courtesan.  The main character, “Gigi” is a very intelligent, opinionated, strong willed and mischievous young girl.  It is in fact these qualities that twist the entire storyline by the end of the film where it closes with her gaining the respect that she desired and believed in.  Hence which relates to the twist in the stanza of the song “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” sung by Maurice Chevalier.  The lyrics can be seen in both a positive or negative light depending upon how one views it.  It has been a song sung by many even Rosemary Clooney.

 “…Those little eyes so helpless and appealing

one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin'…” (YouTube, 2014)

 One point of view is that it could place a label on young girls and how they should be, pleasing, “helpless,” and “appealing.”   Yet to the contrary if you look deeper, the next line clearly states the total opposite of the previous line.  Little girls encompass much more than merely a superficial purpose of just being window dressing that they will ultimately surprise you profoundly if you allow yourself to really see the strengths they do possess.

            Personal individuality and our immediate role models develops the most powerful impact on who we see ourselves as and how we project ourselves to others.   Incorporated into an article written by Lisa Belkin, a reader, Marvin, stated he learned “…the feminist lesson that gender is not a factor in what makes an individual special… You are special because you are an INDIVIDUAL...” (Belkin, 2012)  Parents and mentors must guide and nurture children’s personal visions of themselves. 

            When I grew up there weren’t any particular gender roles in my household.  Although my mother was in part a “stay at home mom,” both my parents cooked and chores were divided by individual capabilities and desires.  Personally I certainly wasn’t raised with any labels.  I learned how to pick night crawlers; my brother and I sold them alongside the lemonade stand.  Much time was spent with my Dad in his workshop and we both learned how to work with tools.  In fact to this day I can pretty much fix just about anything in my house.  It might have been nice if some of the men in my life had been as handy. Fishing and catching snakes were all very common for me even as an adult woman, but I also liked ballet, fairy tales, dressing up pretty and yes even dreamed of being the first woman on the moon. 
       By building a strong foundation of a child’s identity, letting it unfold by itself and nurturing who they are and want to be, labels become unnecessary and powerless. Isn’t it time we begin seeing people for who they are more on the inside than by just their outer image?  I challenge you to realize that we are all human first, we all make mistakes, but we each have this incredible and innate ability to grow, improve upon ourselves, morph and become something so much greater than when we started if we dare to.  I didn't need pink toys when I was little to alert me to the fact that I was female nor did my own boys need to be whittled into a blue box to let them know that someday they would grow into fine young men.  They were simply taught, to the best of my ability, that if they wanted to eat, they had to learn how to cook, if they wanted to experience solstice, they would have to walk in nature.  They were simply offered as many life experiences that I could give in order to set them on their way to becoming their own individualized being.  I believe it's time we just simply place more attention in trying to become the best version of ourselves than to waste valuable moments judging others and placing labels or deciding someone else's gender roles in order to empower ourselves over someone else.  

Works Cited:

Belkin, L. (2012, July 30). Sex vs. Character: What Do We Teach Our Little Girls. Blog. The Huffington Post. Retrieved February 7, 2015, from The Huffington Post Website: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/sex-vs-character_b_1710480.html

YouTube. (2014, November 5). Thank Heaven For Little Girls. Retrieved February 7, 2015, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuD3moeoxPs

Am I a Feminist, Yes or No?

          There are many viewpoints and perspectives of what describes a feminist.  Visions can range from someone who doesn't shave their legs and/or armpits, to hating men altogether or to simply believing and striving to attain what are fair and equal human rights between the sexes universally.  Personally I’ve never been one to place a label on myself in particular and have never been asked this question.  However, I have always had the belief in equality and what is fair for all across the sexes, genders, religious beliefs, and nationalities. 

            This nation was born out of escaping oppression only to create a place that either still holds onto certain oppressions or has created its own.   Abigail Adams, was a woman who knew her voice and was not afraid to speak her mind during a time when our country was being formed. In 1776 where she wrote one of her most famous letters to her husband, John Adams, in it she said, “I long to hear that you have declared an independency—and by the way in the new Code of Laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make I desire you would remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors.  Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands.  Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.  If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.” (as cited in NWHM)  I would consider Mrs. Adams as one of the foremost feminists of our time in this country.  Her reference to all men being tyrants can be witnessed throughout history.  Was she being playful or was there a hint of realism? Is it a natural human behavior or is it created when we ourselves discover we have limitations and in realizing so must oppress another in order to feel strong within?  Is it gender related or societal?  If man/woman is feeling complete within themselves would this need to oppress dissipate?  Questions I’d like to entertain but I’m watching my word count here.

               In the past if asked this question, I probably would have responded that I’m a humanist, however after the readings I think it can be more simply put that if one is a feminist, all possible viewpoints are then covered in the fight for equality for all.  For if there ever comes the day that there is 100% and total equality between men and women worldwide, it won’t matter the color, religious belief, gender, economic status or nationality of the parties. 

               Internationally for a country that claims to be at the realm for implementing a Democratic society, the United States falls short in the area for equality for women.  Scandinavian countries such as Iceland, Finland, and Norway and even South Africa surpass the United States.  About 12 years ago I spent some time in South Africa and participated in one of their National Holidays, Women’s Day, in which all come out to celebrate the women of the country in song, dance and festival.  Even the corporate world is closed on such a day; can you imagine banks closed here in the US in order to celebrate women?

               That being said I would now say that I would describe myself as a true feminist.  One that encompasses the viewpoint of all five of the different types of feminism, from liberal, cultural, socialist, radical to women of all color.  I may shave my arm pits and my legs, but my beliefs and values are strong for equality not only for women but for all.  

Works Cited

NWHM. (n.d.). National Women’s History Museum. Retrieved January 31, 2015, from National Women's History Museum website: https://www.nwhm.org/education-resources/biography/biographies/abigail-smith-adams/